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#BeBetter at Being Photographed

(Antique Portrait Photo Credit: Nick Bowers - Creative Commons)

Let’s face it; we now live in a digital world. At any moment, someone in your vicinity may whip out a camera, snap a photo of you, and then…post it on the Internet to live for all eternity. Now, there are some among us who have the gift of looking great in every photo—we like to call them models. And then. there are the rest of us.

Ditch the Cheese
We’re not really sure where this whole “say cheese” tradition originated, but we do know this: focusing all of your energy into saying this phrase can result in some pretty unnatural and awkward facial expressions in a photo. Aim for a more natural smile—one that doesn’t stretch from ear to ear.

Ignore the Lens
If you have a history of taking bad photos, the mere sight of a camera can put you on edge. Unfortunately, the camera captures and magnifies every tensed nerve, clenched muscle, and that weird twitchy thing your eyebrow does when you feel anxious. One of the most useful things you can do is pretend that the camera isn’t there. This obviously won’t work for a professional shot when you’re the only subject of the photo and you’re supposed to be looking at the camera, but we’ll cover those in the next step.

But, if you’re at a party or event and a roving photographer starts making the rounds, don’t panic. Stay calm and relaxed, and continue doing whatever you were doing before you noticed the camera. Some of the best photos can be candid shots that you didn’t even realize had been taken. (And, these can also be some of the worst photos as well…but we’ll talk about how to handle those later.)

Don’t Make Eye Contact with the Lens
In some cases, candid shots just won’t cut it, and you’ll need to face the camera, head on, to take a professional photo. It might be best to pretend that the camera is not some cold, lifeless object.

Instead, think about how to you connect with a person, and put that same energy into connecting with the camera. But, don’t look right at the lens. Instead, look just above the lens, and pretend you’re making eye contact with a person instead of a camera. And, unless you want to bring back memories of your sixth grade yearbook photo, don’t face the camera squarely. For most people (those of us who are not perfectly symmetrical), posing at a slight angle results in a better shot.

Prepare
Yes, some people are naturally photogenic, but if you’re not, don’t give up hope. When it comes down to it, taking great photos is a skill. And, like any other skill you learn, practice is essential to improvement. Some people are naturally good at sports, music, or art. But guess what? People who don’t have ‘natural’ talent in these areas can practice to get better, and the same holds true for taking good photos.

Don’t be intimidated by the photos you see of models and celebrities—their photos look great because they spend hours upon hours of their lives practicing that art of looking good on film. For every fantastic cover photo of a person, there may be dozens of discarded takes that didn’t look so great. So, if you really want to take better photos, devote some time to taking practice photos.

Now, this is an action step that may require multiple sessions. This will also work best if you have someone else with you to operate the camera. As you experiment with different angles, smiles, and poses, a couple of things will happen. First, you’ll notice what doesn’t work and you’ll be able to tweak what does look good in order to refine what works for you. You’ll also become more comfortable in front of the camera, which will also lead to better photos, simply because you’re more relaxed.

Once you get comfortable and find your good angles, you’ll stop running for cover every time someone grabs a camera. In fact, you might become that person who’s posing for every picture at the party…and that’s a different #BeBetter topic we might have to address later.

Don’t Forget to Work the Angles…

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How Does Your Collar Fit?

We noticed an article in the Wall Street Journal that notes the dangers of wearing ill-fitting clothes. Some of the usual suspects included too-tight jeans, undergarments, and shoes. We were surprised to see that shirts made the list:

Some experts are saying that a shirt collar that’s too tight may cause headaches and vision problems due to reduced circulation to the brain and eyes. Even more surprising, “67% buy shirts that are smaller than their necks, according to a 1993 study at Cornell University.”

The next time you buy a shirt…make sure that your collar has the right fit!

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#BeBetter at Finding Great Fitting Shirts

Our sole focus (at the moment) is all about bringing you better fitting shirts, so we thought we’d devote a #BeBetter post to the details that work together to compose a great fitting shirt.

Collar: Too many people settle for collars that are either too snug, or way too loose. We make the shirt to fit the width of your neck—not some mannequin or fit model—but your very own neck.

Chest: Some customers prefer a relaxed fit around the chest, while others want a cut that shows off the work they put in at the gym. No matter your preference, finding the fit that works for you around the chest is key to comfort—this can determine whether you wear the shirt again and again, or wear it once before it gets “lost” in the laundry pile.

Sleeve: The ideal sleeve should hit your wrist done, but too often, sleeves the are too long or too short are the norm. The good thing about a custom shirt is that the sleeves are made exactly to fit your arm—which means no more rolling up the cuff to disguise ill fitting sleeve lengths.

Shoulder: This is a dimension that can easily be overlooked in shirting. But the width of the shoulders plays an important role in the way the shirt fits the rest of the body. Too big and the shirt bunches and rolls and all the wrong places. Too narrow and you feel uncomfortable and restricted.

Midsection: This is one of the areas where custom fit is most appreciated. The right fit should fit like a glove—not so tight that you can’t breathe, but you shouldn’t be wearing something billowy, either.

Length: Shirts that you tuck in should be a little longer than a shirt you intend to wear un-tucked. Going custom gives you the flexibility to find the length that works best for you-regardless of the length of your torso.

The next time you’re shopping for shirts, keep these 6 points in mind so you can #BeBetter at finding the best possible fit you can.

#BeBetter at Making Conversation

Social gatherings can be a source of loads of pre-event nervousness, so today we’re looking at ways to #BeBetter at attending (and enjoying) these shindigs. In a crowd of people you don’t know, it can be tough to get started navigating the room, so we’ve got some tips to help you get off on the right foot.

1) First Impressions Count.
The funny thing about being nervous is that it’s contagious. People can unconsciously pick up on your discomfort, and though they may not be able to put their finger on it, conversing with someone who’s jittery and anxious can become uncomfortable for all parties involved. So, as they say, “fake it till you make it” and do your best to cast an aura of confidence. Stand up straight, don’t fidget and fiddle with your hair or clothes (it always helps to have clothes fit great), look people in the eye, make eye contact, and smile often. (Practice in the mirror to find the balance between friendly and psychotic smiling.)

2) Make Small Talk.
Unless you’re at a function with people you know really well, small talk is the foundation for deeper conversation. Depending on the person you’re conversing with, this can be a challenge, because you’re basically fishing for some common ground that you can use as an entry point to real conversation. Don’t let this discourage you. In your mind, treat it as a game of 20 questions and keep bringing up new topics until you hit on something that the person you’re talking to really seems to enjoy discussing.

3) Listen.
Once you find a topic the other person enjoys, something magical happens. Essentially, they probably won’t stop talking. Here’s the tricky part—you may feel tempted interject your own important thoughts and ideas, but it’s a good idea in the beginning to simply listen. You can jump in when the other person pauses to give you a chance to talk, but it’s important to not interrupt them mid-sentence, because this can damage the rapport you’re starting to build with them.

4) Be considerate.
When you finally get your chance to talk, remember how it felt to hold in your thoughts and ideas while you were waiting for the other person to take a breath? Yeah…don’t do that to them. Give them frequent opportunities to get back in the dialogue by stopping now and then to ask their opinion, or simply take a breath and let them jump in and say something.

5) Help others.
Ever experienced this scenario? You’re having a fantastic conversation with one or two people, and someone wanders over and unceremoniously jumps in an disrupts the flow? Here’s a secret: 9 times out of 10, that person is feeling awkward and desperately looking for somewhere to fit in.
So help them out. Be gracious, and include them in the conversation. Quickly give them a synopsis of where you are in the conversation and then offer them a way to get their foot in the conversational door — e.g., “We were just discussing our favorite childhood vacation memories. What’s yours?” Drawing the other person in will smooth things over quickly, and handling it so well will up your charm factor with all other parties involved.

6) Make the rounds.
It sounds like a cheesy thing to do, but you want to repeat this process as many times as you can during the course of the event. Not only will this improve your conversational skills, but meeting more people means that next time, you may be able to jump right in to real conversation and skip the small talk, by picking up where you left off. In other words, making the rounds will make things easier next time around. So don’t get too comfortable in one conversation (and by all means, don’t be rude), but gently extricate yourself from the conversation by saying something like, “Hey, I don’t want to take up all of your time, and I need to say hi to everyone, but we’ll definitely talk more later.” Doing this gives you the opportunity to move around without making your conversational partner feel slighted, and it builds a foundation for conversation the next time you meet.
 
No one becomes a conversation expert overnight, so cut yourself some slack and keep going, even if you get flustered, or feel completely hopeless from time to time. Like we’ve said, #BeBetter isn’t accomplished in one fell swoop—it takes and time and repetition. Give these ideas a try the next time you attend a party—whether it’s an intimate gathering or a big networking soiree, and you’ll find yourself on the road to #BeBetter at making conversation.

Men Conversing in Style

The Sartorialist: Lunch for 25 from The Sartorialist on Vimeo.

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Introducing #BeBetter